Archive for July, 2010

A Blessing for those who are hurting

For Someone Awakening to the Trauma of His or Her Past

For everything under the sun there is a time
This is the season of your awkward harvesting,
When pain takes you where you would rather not go,

Through the white curtain of yesterdays to a place
You had forgotten you knew from the inside out;
And a time when that bitter tree was planted.

That has grown always invisible beside you
And whose branches your awakened hands
Now long to disentangle from your heart.

You are coming to see how your looking often darkened
When you should have felt safe enough to fall toward love,
How deep down your eyes were always owned by something.

That faced them through a dark fester of thorns
Converting whoever came into a further figure of the wrong;
You could only see what touched you as already torn.

Now the act of seeing begins your work of mourning.
And your memory is ready to show you everything,
Having waited all these years for you to return and know.

Only you know where the casket of pain is interred.
You will have to scrape through all the layers of covering.
And according to your readiness, everything will open.

May you be blessed with a wise and compassionate guide
Who can accompany you through the fear and grief
Until your heart has wept its way to your true self.

As your tears fall over that wounded place,
May they wash away your hurt and free your heart.
May your forgiveness still the hunger of the wound.

So that for the first time you can walk away from that place,
Reunited with your banished heart, now healed and freed,
And feel the clear, free air bless your new face.

from: To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue, 2008.

Escapism…my response in moments of anxiety

I think all of us suffer from vices that rear their heads only when we’re at our lowest, weakest points. Mine are things like:

eating anything within reach that has sugar in it

shopping until I drop

drinking too much wine

But I’ve figured out that my real gut reaction to highly stressful, hurtful, confusing and frustrating situations is to escape.

Hightail it.

Run.

Skip town.

Jump ship.

Flee.

So yes, that’s me you see the back of right now. Running to catch the next train, bags trailing behind. The woman in the wide brimmed hat and sunglasses, glancing quickly over her shoulder to see if any one has figured out she’s escaping. And hoping and praying that wherever she lands next (which is still a mystery to her) will be a peaceful, safer place than the one she is leaving.