It’s been one of those terrible, horrible no good kind of days so far. Nothing too dramatic has happened. No loss of limbs. LOTS of loss of sleep though and that tends to make me a very grumpy person.

Mostly I woke up feeling overwhelmed by life. I don’t like being grown-up. It’s too hard. No one does your laundry for you anymore so if you don’t do it then you get piles of stinky dirtiness and an empty closet.

And what about meals? I miss having Mom do all the menu planning and my  job was simply to set the table. I tried that the other night…setting out plates, forks and napkins and then waiting for the food to arrive. It didn’t work out in my favor.

Add to daily chores the fact that I am responsible for the direction and well-being of a company and I don’t get to delegate that task to any one. I feel that my job requires thoughtfulness and intentionality and the well has run dry right now so I really just want to go home and crawl back into bed and try this day over again.

Can I trade places with my dog? I want my belly scratched and the luxury of napping most of the afternoon. And mostly I want someone else to clean up my messes.

So it’s time once again (how does this always happen to me?) to ask for grace, for patience, for Divine intervention. I can’t make it on my strength alone. I would really like to believe that I can. In fact, I waste a lot my very precious personal resources (i.e. time, energy, mind) trying to argue that I can indeed do it by myself. You’d think I was still two and insisting on asserting my independence. But the truth is, I can’t do it by myself. I need my community. I need my family. I need God.